2015 Wordplay is now complete!
The winners for 2015 are listed first. Congratulations to Anne Del Campo for her creative and pithy first place winner. Congratulations to all the top 10!
We also had a word that came in high but decided that “Name Withheld” was not really a “winner”, so they get more of an Honorable mention. Also, I am SO sorry this took so long; major email problems when we were finalizing the winners; then too much travel for work.
Please see the 2016 page for new submissions.
| Word | Definition | Name |
| Carnil | Celibacy | Anne DelCampo |
| Cornicate | to cock an ear | Tom Bracken |
| Invorce | The email received from a former spouse demanding an alimony payment of a certain amount by a certain date. | Dan Greenberg |
| Poltergist | The ghost of an idea | Doug Langmead |
| Audity | Something that sounds odd and has financial implications | Tony Dal Molin |
| Damnesia | Cursed forgetfulness | James Marshal Broder |
| subterfume | These e-cigarettes | Vali Jamal |
| carioki | singing along to the radio during a drive – often with the wrong words | Dave Easby |
| Umpure | An umpire who actually follows the rules | David Spharler |
| Bathroam | wandering aimlessly in search of a toilet | Bruce Dillon |
| Top Ten Honorable Mention: | ||
| qualifiction | typical result of required workplace training | Name withheld |
| WPM Invitasional | An etymillogical onslaughter of the English Language | Doug Langmead |
| Reiterdate | To repeatedly ask someone to agree to a meeting | Sara Craddock |
| Ductator | Someone who thinks you can fix anything with duct tape | Marla |
| Submission | Underwater religious conversion | Fred Breitner |
| Erue | The feeling of regret after sending an inappropriate email | Anne DelCampo |
| Twatter | When people chatter endlessly on Twitter or any other social media | Marla |
| Megalomanilac | Thinks he’s all powerful but just missing something | Glen V. Thompson |
| Viagrant | A homeless person who sleeps standing up | Doug Langmead |
| Bayrier | A seawall | Matthew B. Winkel |
| Underpaints | Primery colours | Doug Langmead |
| Countentious | Causing or likely to cause an argument over money | Marla |
| Dealiberate | The ability to distribute playing cards in a careful and unhurried manner | Sara Craddock |
| Ambiextrous | Possessing a third useful appendage | Fred Brietner |
| Incendairy | A toast with burnt milk | Doug Langmead |
| Grititude | Appearing to be thankful through clenched teeth | Sara Craddock |
| Greedom | The unbridled ability of large, well-connected corporate entities or thieir ilk to do as they please, usually to the detriment of the public at large | Steve Gallop |
| Isilate | The strategy employed by the UN Security Council to cut off the Islamic State’s connections to international financial and economic markets | Josh B |
| Reciprocat | The art of responding positively to a feline’s display of affection | Sara Craddock |
| Hatronage | Unwillingness to use or support a particular institution, custom, company or cause, no matter how reasonable and cogent the arguments to do so are. | Jade Walker |
| Pailiative | Describing a last ditch effort to extend life, by applying generous amounts of water to needy plants | Fred Breitner |
| Nagnify | To repeatedly exaggerate your spouse’s faults | Karen Hall |
| Investidate | To obtain background information about a potential suitor, particularly through the use of the Internet | Stacia Spaulding |
| Portential | When something has the potential for disaster | Suzanne |
| Accelebration | Rushing the preparations for a special event | Fred Breitner |
| Vommitments | Things one has promised to do, the thought of which makes one nauseous | Sarita Nair |
| Seccentric | The ability to become unconventional in an exremely short space of time | Sara Craddock |
| Bullship | The hype cruise companies tell you about their cruise | Dennis MacClanahan |
| Negligent | Men’s nightgown | Fred Breitner |
| Lothargio | A lazy lover | Jurie Schoeman |
| Abominable Snotman | A really bad head-cold | Tony Mowatt |
| Astrolomical | Extremely large or vast influence on one’s astrology | Mark Landes |
| Fastudious | Describing a quick learner | Fred Breitner |
| Abscondor | A bird that’s flown | Doug Langmead |
| Sniege | The act of not letting a sneeze go | Jerry Bonson |
| Relax | To revisit Los Angeles | Jack Cohen |
| Fryday | The day all potatoes dread | Andrew Herden |
| Accidance | Recovery of balance, especially on black ice | Fred Breitner |
| Brayzen | An excessively impudent ass | Doug Glant |
| Mistlehoe | A woman who will kiss absolutely anybody under the mistletoe | Donna Ping |
| Dearogatory | The art of appearing to be affectionate whilst being critical | Sara Craddock |
| Textosterone | What makes men so predictable. | Doug Langmead |
| Peticure | When you take your dog to the vet to get it’s nails clipped | Dennis McLanahan |
| Pestivity | A picnic | Anne DelCampo |
| Legato ad absurdum | The theramin | Wayne Merry |
| Genderaters | Chromosomes | Doug Langmead |
| Nonpulsed | Deceased | Daniel Martin |
| Spunoza | Previous philosophical discussion | Tony Mowatt |
| Astrophy | Loss of muscle mass due to preoccupation with stargazing | Jason Conklin |
| Insumnia | Inability to sleep due to an audit | Marco van de Sluis |
| Siccups | When a person’s error-ridden social media post is later quoted by an editor who has the patience to mark each error with a “(sic)”, one would say that the original poster had the siccups. | Rebecca Oswald |
| Kneecape | Pantaloons | Doug Langmead |
| Acronymonius | That angry, bitter feeling one gets when being subjected to relentless us of acronyms that have zero meangin to the listener but have special or “inside” conduits of meangin that the speaker can only understand or process will leaving the listener unintentionally (in most cases) in the dark | Mark Hanson |
| Space tome continuum | The infinite worlds created by writers | Marco van de Sluis |
| Convidant | An inside connection with the nuns | Eben Robinson |
| Fignition | A false start | Doug Langmead |
| Pulpitation | A state of agitation that develops when talking to someone with fruit fibers between their teeth. | Alan Largue |
| Femdamentalism | A narrow interpretation of feminism that regards men as superfluous or irrelevant. | Erick Richter |
| Cleaverness | The Beaver’s sharp wit | David Spharler |
| Clarifiction | Explaining/Rationalizing/Legitimizing a topic all parties privately acknowledge as untrue or fallacious | Name Withheld |
| Chorduroy | The harmonious sound produced by the thigh sections of velvet-ribbed pants when walking. | Fiona Leally |
| Lascar | An alliterative Rascal | Doug Langmead |
| Regalitarian | Arising from the belief in the equality of all persons, providing they are from “royal” lineage. | Anne DelCamp |
| Factorum | Drunken handyman | David Spharler |
| Heltic | When “hectic” is not a strong enough word. | Dennis McClanahan |
| Primotive | best Cro-Magnon | David Spharler |
| Precrastination | Not even thinking about starting to do something | Anne DelCampo |
| Knothing | Tied up in nots | Doug Langmead |
| Auramatic | A person who has an aura surrounding him | Vali Jamal |
| Kitschen | A really ugly kitchen | Eric Meadows |
| Fratulence | Gas passed at a college kegger | Charles Manley |
| Gangst | Fear of “the hood” | Anne DelCampo |
| Cutelass | A curvaceous broadsword | Doug Langmead |
| Flib | To lie about one’s weight (flab + fib) | Laurel Mancini |
| Prudity | Your uptightness is showing | Jim Hanson |
| Idioptic | Someone so ignorant it causes you not to see straight | Laurel Mancini |
| Achilles Keel | Dry-rot in a pirates wooden leg | Doug Langmead |
| Scorry | An apology made with hope to score points towards the next conflict, or to intentionally gain favor with the recipient without true remorse. | Angela Harrison |
| Exfoliage | The esthetic effect Agent Orange has on trees | Greg Murphy |
| Extravagrants | Excessive money given to ridiculous projects. | Laurel Mancini |
| Dikapedia | A person you are chatting with who keeps citing facts about topics that you care nothing about, nor which you are presently discussing. | Tarrabeth Rocco |
| Moanlougue | A long, one-sided conversation by a depressed person. | Kenneth Rhodes |
| Hypenosis | The trance-like state into which one descends after watching too many political campaign ads. | Rick Montgomery |
| Leotard | Spotty Pantyhose | Doug Langmead |
| Offalicious | Diligently making your crap everyone’s crap (offal + officious) | Laurel Mancini |
| Tichnology | That twitch you get when your computer is not working | Marla |
| Diarya | A condition characterized by the inability to stop writing crap in one’s journal | Matthew B. Winkel |
| Statisfy | Provide someone with abundant statistical data to the point they are convinced of something | Holly Varley |
| Sabotrage | Getting screwed by the exchange rate | Albhy Galuten |
| Cafartic | The relieved feeling you get after passing wind | Danny Youlden |
| Dramastic | Something that is both a drama and is drastic at the same time. Usually incites panic | Sam Stevens |
| Snockers | The breasts of a drunken woman | Edward Brode |
| Eatrocity | A violently gluttonous act | Jeff Jackson |
| Podiatryst | An illicit foot massage | Bo Scarborough |
| Engaugement | Estimating how long you think a totally incompatible couple will stay together after the wedding | A Boodoosingh |
| Avacadro’s Number | The measure of deliciousness in one guacamole | Noah Dorsky |
| Shelfie | Someone who takes (and posts on social media) tons of pictures of home improvement projects | Marla |
| Understandung | Clear awareness that you’ve stood in dog poop | Glen V. Thompson |
| Celebraty | A badly behaved movie star | Marla |
| Spontificate | Spontaneously express one’s opinion in a dogmatic way, usually BS | Vali Jamal |
| Dreams of Glandeur | Breast implants | Rob Jensik |
| Premiscuous | When you are loose ahead of your time | Glen V. Thompson |
| Pundamentals | The basic tenets of joke telling | Marla |
| Blaboratory | Where speach pathologists work | Edward Brode |
| Dognut | A donut that has become stale and is now only fit for consumption by a dog. | Sam Stevens |
| Icesofacia | When you try to get the last little bit of of drink out of your glass and the ice stuck at the bottom lets go, careens down the side of your glass and hits your face | Name withheld |
| Megraine | Someone who gives everyone else a headached by constantly talking about themselves | Marla |
| Ambivalet | A ho-hum factotum, unconcierged about his duties | Doug Langmead |
| Investigation | Experimental pharmaceutical | Matthew B Winkel |
| Infandel | A non-believer who drinks wine | Bo Scarbrough |
| Destinesia | When one walks to another room with a purpose in mind and, upon entering the room, forgets what that purpose was. | Daniel C. Shaw |
| Relucktant | Hesitant to keep gambling after winning a big jackpot. | Matthew B. Winkel |
| Barberian | The guy savages go to see when they want to get a haircut. | Bruce Dillon |
| Stragedy | A game plan which results in a loss | Name Withheld |
| Torpido | A floating mine | Doug Langmead |
| Naggravation | The feeling you get when your passenger hassles you while giving you directions while you are driving. | Michael Bennett |
| Stupiodic | Lacks intelligent decision making | Roy Hiroto |
| Screenpray | Script for a Biblical epic movie | Jeff Jackson |
| Heffervescence | The aura that overhwhelms you the moment you step into a dairy barn. | Bruce Dillon |
| Squarea | A rectangular region having four congruent sides | Matthew B. Winkel |
| Nyeti | The Abominable No-man | Doug Langmead |
| Farcebook | Where people go and post “inspirationals” about being good to everyone which you know they don’t abide by | Vali Jamal |
| Iditabrod | The long race home over open country after having a one-night stand | Name Withheld |
| Hoebo | A homeless hooker | Bo Scarbrough |
| Apparitious | Someone or something having an ephemeral or ghost-like appearance or quality | Jacob Galuten |
| Pomegranite | The exotic fruit that looked so good at the store but dessicates to rock in your refrigerator | June Gaishin |
| Nanofinity | The interval of time between the moment when your dropped hammer impacts your big toe and the first evidence of the enormous pain that is to follow. | Mark Beran |
| Relaxative | When you confused the mineral oil for the vodka! | Bo Scarbrough |
| Broncodilator | An illegal steroid for wild horses | Matthew B. Winkel |
| Idemise | Assign priorities on a bucket list | Doug Langmead |
| Holastic | Synthetic material used in sphincter muscle replacements | Stanley Kimmel |
| Slowbber | Lazy drooling | Jeff Jackson |
| Pushauvinist | Any mail who acts like a chauvinist around his mates until his wife turns up. | Andrew Mark Ayliffe |
| taxicrab | The condition of becoming embittered with humanity after too much interaction witht the general public as a hack driver | Noah Dorsky |
| dumbrella | the stupid, cheap umbrella you have to purchase because you have twelve at home but not one with you when it starts to rain | Name Withheld |
| doorpedo | A cat that one is trying desperately to prevent from getting outside | Paul Nienaber |
| feng shuit | when rearranging the furniture just doesn’t work at all | Tom Ross |
| petrofied | the socio-political condition of being stuck in the distant past if one’s economy is based primarily on oil | Noah Dorsky |
| grayzers | Retirees who attend annual shareholder meetings soley for free food. | name withheld |
| celerities | people whose suddent rise to fame is exceeded only by their meteoric fall into obscurity | John Fasanello |
| Moot Camp | training that is irrelevant by the time it’s finished | Tom Ross |
| funancier | the party that pays for the entertainment of another (see also “parent” or “boyfriend”) | Noah Dorsky |
| turbulience | instigating an animated conversation with a fellow passenger or stewardess to mask the rictus of fear that descents the moment the “fasten seat belts” announcement is made. | Doug Langmead |
| Anemometer | a device for measuring wind speed and chill factor effect on anemones | Vivienne Bibby |
| omporium | A large retail store selling a wide variety of copyrighted mantras | Rick Marianetti |
| clothestrophophia | fear of entering ones closet, over-stuffed with way, way too much clothing (alt: closetropobia) | Bob Wieneke |
| genderalities | global assumptions made based soley on gender | Name withheld |
| Bbking Powder | All that remained when the blues got soul | Doug Langmead |
| ratiffication | the process leading up to a fight between two rats | Michael Klopfer |
| incomspicuous | gaudily displaying one’s expensive acquisitions | David Brown |
| caristehenics | stretching exercises done by a passenger during a long drive to keep from crampling up | Dave Easby |
| dieties | goddesses who thwart your good intentions about the quantity and quality of your food intake | Vali Jamal |
| Levitrap | the unfortunate consequence of mixing Levitra and tight blue jeans | Kelsey Ishimoto |
| automagically | Something that magically happens or appears without planning or effort “The clean laundry automagically appears in my drawer” | Lois Matthews |
| dimpulsive | instant conceptualization and actualization of a really stupid idea | Allison Cleveland |
| Laphorism | A saying that will make you laugh, as well as stop and think | Joe Hensley |
| Annoymous | To be irritated by someone or the actions of someone you cannot identify | Benedict Moudry |
| Ostrasize | Largest eggs available | Richard Williams |
| Atmosphire | A fire whose purpose is not to heat but to provide ambience | Rick Parker |
| ultraviolent plight | surrounded by thugs | Richard Williams |
| Martyre | sacrificial rubber | Doug Langmead |
| quitar | the invariable guitar at a friend’s house that he only tried to play for, like, three months | Sean McElhiney |
| Texasperation | What you feel when someone refuses to stop talking like a cowboy | Derek Lockhart |
| Gramshackle | A restraining device used in the story “Fifty Shades of Grey Hair” | Bob Kriz |
| Beerkat | That dude who keeps standing up on his barstool trying to find the bartender | Carol Palombo |
| Slimericks | Bulimic pentameters | Narelle Rance & Doug Langmead |
| notwork | a network in its typical state | Name withheld |
| graftitude | A sincere appreciation for accepting something that is not rightfully yours | Dave Drinan |
| Polates | A popular exercise regimen performed using a pole | Barbara Price |
| haranoid | when you keep thinking a hair is in your food or mouth | Michael Klopfer |
| Predaction | taking back words before you say them | Name withheld |
| homeover | when you’re having people over on short notice and you cram things under beds and into closets to hide your shame | Sean McElhiney |
| flabulous | For those with no problem being slightly overweight; they’re spectacular! | Name withheld |
| publush | in other words, a Dewars sunburn | Carol Palombo |
| Stabble | a knife fight in a barn | Doug Langmead |
| baughter | a high-maintenance daughter (alt: boughter) | Becky Bartlett |
| toppulance | decorating your house better than the rich guy next door | Name withheld |
| heirarchy | a hierarchy of how the heirs will succeed to the throne | Vali Jamal |
| Deja moo | Got Milk | Harry Kleinberg |
| condomlences | the sympathy expression to someone who had an accident due to a defective prophylactic | Indranil Goswami |
| philossophy | The wisdom you learn from the extra money you spend when youre debts are not paid in time | Dave Drinan |
| pachydorm | the elephant in the college student’s room | Bob Kriz |
| judgementia | an illness in which someone is judgemental without even being aware of the condition | Neil McCall |
| debtutantes | The nouveau-poor | Doug Langmead |
| Ingeedients | recipe for investment bank collapse | Kathy Deacon |
| bragarious | enoying the company of other people all praising you | Matt Iyer |
| Richard IIInterred | the reburial of a long-dead English King exhumed from a carpark. Such was his lot. | Doug Langmead |
| bransmutation | the change in bowel movement due to excess fiber in the system | Bob Kriz |
| mealibug | the insect that you expect to find in your Chinese carry out. | Dave Drinan |
| excreaton | after passing through the system, this creaton is now reformed | Matt Iyer |
| facadomy | The act of desecrating a historic building by creating a building front that is tasteless and out of character and historic context from the original building. | Barbara Price |
| Beelzebulb | One of those awful corkscrew fluorescent replacement “CFL” lamps that flickers and blinks like the devil | Bob Burchett |
| Poasting | Bragging, boasting or tooting our own horn on social networks | Haleila Nusinow |
| pacebook | a marathoner’s strategy notes | Jeff Jackson |
| dramastic | A combination of ‘dramatic’ and ‘fantastic’, probably be used most often in sporting events. | Opher Banarie |
| dreadaphor | An implied comparison, resolution of which reveals information you’d rather not know | Tom Cushing |
| Slimmer | Penitentiary for cachetic felons | Henry Kleinberg |
| paytience | Patience in accepting late payment of rent, for example | Vali Jamal |
| Equineox | A bullock that can’t bellow because it’s horse | Douge Langmead |
| Rectiffy | The attempt to fix or address something. The outcome could go either way. | Matt Iyer |
| Banshe | No women allowed | Henry Kleinberg |
| ligh | the ‘low-high’ temperature record for a given day | Frank Hanou |
| impire | a small and sneaky arbiter of a baseball game | Jeff Jackson |
| Avatart | Disreputable female avatar | Evan Gamblin |
| Gramschackle | 50 Shades of Grey Hair | Bob Kriz |
| precrastinate | takes action first, not never | Jeff Jackson |
| Belatant | Purposefully being late to something | Matt Iyer |
| meritricious | attractive as well as meriful | Vali Jamal |
| urinade | what becomes of your Arnold Palmer beverage if you piss off your waiter while ordering | Rob Blackman |
| Twistory | A false accounting or incorrect version of history usually intended to mislead people | Matt Iyer |
| the improb | comedy club for people unlikely to be comedians | Jeff Jackson |
| textoserone | the hormone responsible for the inability of a man to text a woman longer than 30 minutes without sending her a picture of his junk | Robert Lisak |
| obcessive | prone to compulsive stopping | Bar Lowenberg |
| Baralysis | the state that your device is in when you are downloading something and the bar stops moving | David Birch |
| Furd | a really crappy car | Jeff Jackson |
| Shpy | Aston Martin driver with a breathalyser reading of .007 | Doug Langmead |
| chandling | The instince that causes highly sarcastic people, when faced with utter idiocy, to do as Chandler Bing would do | Heather Barnes |
| gullery | meeting place frequented by seabirds | Jeff Jackson |
| Grandom | When a senior citizen does something unexpected and completely against the rules of logic. i.e. it was completely grandom when the old man drove the wrong direction down the drive-thru lane. | Stephanie Mennie |
| prepaganda | expensive private school marketing tools | Jeff Jackson |
| impun | contest this contest | Doug Langmead |
| Snubmissions | rejected submissions | Jeff Jackson |
| Somnambulance | What you call when things get terminally boring | John Neyer |
| Blalking | Someone who walks with eyes glued to the smartphone, often blocking pedestrian traffic and blocking out the environment | Jim Henry |
| Forenication | The act of being screwed by the golf gods | Gary Albrecht |
| aprostate | Someone who leans forward and falls flat after renouncing faith | David Spharler |
| Studium | A place where the games that are held are intellectual | Hal Warnick |
| drudgerydo | An ancient instrument used by men when told they need to help clean. It is a 6′ long hollowed out pipe-like instrument that emits a whining howl. | Bill Verostek |
| Spandthrift | One who is obsessed with buying elasticized, figure-enhancing garments. | Janine Witte |
| despire | when hate deflates | David Spharler |
| Calfe | Small, usually casual restaurant that specializes in veal | Sheryl Smith |
| Psychopith | A tersely cogent whack-job | Doug Glant |
| Titcoin | Virtual money that can only be spent on porn sites | Eldonna Edwards |
| Texterminater | The person with ultimate authority to change or delete text in an article | Bill Verostek |
| ignoramish | the native tongue of ignorami | Pete Pirotte |
| Densa | A group of people known for their lack of intelligence when it comes to picking up on human body language and innuendos | Name Withheld |
| Candid Chimera | A frank but foolish fancy | Doug Glant |
| rumshackle | Caught planking with Captain Morgan | Don Laybourne |
| Peeoccupied | While urinating can’t hear someone talking; can’t do something else while into a long urinating session.. | Bill Verostek |
| Fantestical | Unbelievably large gonads | Kevin Sutherland |
| Sleep-Depraved | The condition of turning into an evil, cranky monster due to lack of sleep (common to adults with new babies) | Jennifer Simon |
| Fitbot | A computerized device that tricks your activity tracker into thinking you’re burning calories while you veg out on the sofa | Eldonna Edwards |
| Widow Shopping | Perusing the obituaries for prospective singles | Andrew Clipperton |
| Bolshevicks | A congeries of commies with chest colds | Doug Glant |
| Reincatnation | Why cats have 9 lives | Doug Langmead |
| Zeitguest | When a visitor stays long enough that they have unofficially moved in | Eldonna Edwards |
| kitchen | newborn German cat | Peter Schaaf |
17 Responses to 2015