Welcome to the 2022 Submissions page. The winners for the year can be found at Winners 2022
Comments, feedback and suggestions can be sent to us at wordplay@ptitude.com
New Word Original Word Definition - Clever is Better ! Name
Mo-ho-ho Ho-ho-ho The traditional Christmas greeting delivered by the Three Stooges Wayne Price
Tiramagotchi Tamagotchi An attention-seeking dessert Doug Langmead & Gillian Winter
Pittiable Pitiable A toothless terrier Doug Langmead
Pedantique Pedantic Someone who thinks that their advanced age qualifies them to be constantly correcting everyone else. Alice Sahagian
Suitcidal Suicidal The irrepressible urge of murdering bankers and other suited professionals. Oliver Hutchins
Taxy Tax A vehicle for transferring wealth from the private to the public sector. The fair is negotiable. Doug Langmead
Referendumb Referendum Just because most people choose something doesn’t make it a good idea Steve Cozzetto
Highs and Lowes Highs and lows The initial elation you get when you find a parking spot close to the entrance of your favorite big-box home-goods/DIY store, only to be emotionally crushed when you depart that store and find your car is hundreds of feet away from the stores exit. Steve Cozzetto
Nachoo Nachoo Allergic to snacks! Glen Morry
Shartcut Shortcut Taking the quick way home, to avoid a messy situation. Glen Morry
Limbecile Imbecile A daft leg Doug Langmead
Dazy Daze A stunned buttercup Doug Langmead
Parapharisees Pharisees Locquacious zealnots who think the written word is rabbish and have been sadduced into a doctrine, the essense of which can only be explained "in other words" Doug Langmead
Slayground Playground Not for kids Emile Ouellette
Fooliganism Hooliganism Really just a synonym, but perhaps more accurate? Keith Vincent
Placido Placebo/Libido An inflatable woman Doug Langmead
Somberero Sombrero A bad hat day, brimming with despondency Doug Langmead
Maslighting Gaslighting Candles used during church services. Carole Marantz
Pintelligence Intelligence One's system devised to create and recall awesome "personal identification number" Carole Marantz
Pastute Astute Loss of cognitive skills by aged. Carole Marantz
Euridiner Eruditer Eating places frequented by scholars. Carole Marantz
Tauntalize Tantalize Joy of those who demean others. Carole Marantz
Girthstone Birthstone Obesity struggle! Carole Marantz
Noughth Nought Roald Amundsen's compass bearing on 12th May 1926 Doug Langmead
Zeitgeise Zeitgeist Duck-defining epochs with a speciefic margin of era Doug Langmead
Noughth Nought Roald Amundsen's compass bearing on 12th May 1926 Doug Langmead
Nopine Opine Indecisive! Carole Marantz
Pinvasion Invasion Your computer has been hacked!!! Carole Marantz
Pizzacato Pizzicato Pecular finger manner of plucking and picking at your pizza slice. Carole Marantz
Bedantic Pedantic Funny, fussy, formal bedtime rituals. Carole Marantz
Teandering Meandering Deciding whether to drink either black, green or oolong teas. Carole Marantz
Purceptible Perceptible Note worthy pocket book. Carole Marantz
Sucolic Bucolic Intense sick desire to litigate at all costs. Carole Marantz
Zeitgeise Zeitgeist Duck-defining epochs with a speciefic margin of era Doug Langmead
Chalos Chaos/Halos Divine madness Doug Langmead
Emasculatte Emasculate Strong coffee in a flimsy, pink cup Amy Warren
Obade Bade Utterly fulfilled Doug Langmead
Banandit Bandit A Queensland bushranger, leader of an outlaw hand, notorious for giving Peelers the slip. Having emerged from a vegetative state, he gathered a band of flowerers, all of a sinister bent. Like all mashed bandits, they turned yellow and went soft in the end. Doug Langmead
Chunger Chunder An appetite for throwing up Doug Langmead
Bratitude Gratitude The change in your mental attitude when dealing with other people's unruly children. Wayne Price
Stentacles Tentacles Procedure to restore blood flow in one's arteries Carole Marantz
Golfaction Volfaction Foul odor from sweaty cleats after 18 holes. Carole Marantz
Girthday Birthday Decision to begin diet on one's date of birth. Carole Marantz
Pigmarole Rigmarole Rolling in the mud with a pig Rod Noles
Camoose Vamoose A hunchback moose Carole Marantz
Fartuitous Fortuitous Having the opportunity to sneak one off without anyone noticing Ivan Druker
Pollstergeist Poltergeist A prediction that comes back to haunt you Ivan Druker
Bornucopian Cornucopian Abundance of utter self absorption of those born to wealth. Carole Marantz
Vetaphrase Metaphrase Analyze text very carefully. Carole Marantz
Hittle Tittle Slight blow Carole Marantz
Camoose Caboose A hunchback moose Carole Marantz
Snopaque Opaque An enigmatic snowflake Doug Langmead
Suzzle Sizzle Future tense of guzzle Rod Noles
Antimate Intimate Bedtime headache medication Rod Noles
Inbagel Inveigle To trick someone into thinking its a delicious idea to put cream cheese and lox on their cinnamon raisin Steve Cozzetto
Speech aFrazier Speech Aphasia Neurological condition whereby someone can only speak in a pompous baritone voice Steve Cozzetto
ExtraLordinary Extraordinary Appellation for two overlords in the same manor Rod Noles
Weiry Weir Dam tiered and pour Doug Langmead
Buttrest Buttress A large stuffed cushion George
Sneezure Sneeze Several rapid sneezes in a row Dana E Houghton
Smartphony Smartphone The imbecilic belief that excessive and dependent use of that device will result in awesome intelligence. Carole Marantz
Gaffinity Affinity One who is extremely prone to say and do inappropriate things. Carole Marantz
Baubbly Bubbly Bling Perignon Doug Langmead
Neighborhoods Neighborhood Why your car’s tires and catalytic converters are missing Emile Ouellette
Painsay Gainsay Chiropractic term for "tell me when this hurts" Rod Noles
Hijocking Hijacking High-five activity from the jockey at the winner's circle. Rod Noles
Boogler Booger A dessicated mucousician who can play the trumpet through his nose. Doug Langmead
Randante Andante Last runner of 26.2 mile marathon. Carole Marantz
Gattired Attired Armed and Ready!! Carole Marantz
Spontangeous Spontaneous Immediate effects of chilli pepper. Carole Marantz
Commatose Comatose Briefly falling asleep during short pauses whilst reading and waking up again after a period. Doug Langmead
Comatoes Comatose Curly little pinkies Doug Langmead
Flunctionality Functionality The ability of a tool, machine, or process to successfully fail at its expected purpose. Gary Hellmers
Boxidation Oxidation Alternative medical procedure where hyperventilating patient covers their head with a box vs. breathing into a paper bag. Rod Noles
Manguid Languid Name for guy on first date for dinner at your home and the dude sits on the couch while you do the dishes. Rod Noles
Staggant Stagnant Ant without a date to the Queen's ball Rod Noles
Sobriquiet Sobriquet Implorable silence when asked if you have a nickname Rod Noles
Borefather Forefather Between ages 13 through 16 sobriquet for one’s dad (OMG) Rod Noles
Maleviolent Malevolent Helicopter mom's description of High School football. Rod Noles
Turdles Turtles Suprisedly clean diaper Rod Noles
Triflung Trifling 3-0 count for your Chinese baseball pitcher. Rod Noles
Davenpart Davenport Sneak out of synagogue before reciting all the prayers. Marshall Karp
Cors d'oeuvres Hors d'oeuvres Those tasty little appetizers they serve at the fancier Marine mess halls. Marshall Karp
Bestpoke Bespoke CuStomized jab Carole Marantz
Passionmately Passionately Single seeking a lovable soulmate. Carole Marantz
Gumbrage Umbrage Mouth malady from bridge irritating one’s gums Carole Marantz
Buyronic Byronic When the purchase turns out different from what you expected and its kinda funny in retrospect. "I bought this Apple Watch to be more efficient with my time but I wound up wasting time playing games on it" Chris Cioffi
Fundane Mundane Having a great Danish holiday. Rod Noles
Subterfudge Subterfuge Giving fake candy to trick-or-treaters at Halloween Rod Noles
Volcuptuous Voluptuous Increased bra size after a breast implant. Rod Noles
Gaphorism Aphorism When sharing a concise statement of a principle and there is an uncomfortable pause before you can frame the words. Rod Noles
Beehoove Behoove When ungulate mammals step on a colony of bees Rod Noles
Kaplomb Aplomb Total loss of confidence Rod Noles
Zensorcel Ensorcel Enchant one through principles of meditation and intuition. Carole Marantz
Foalesce Coalesce Result of male and female horses "joining forces." Carole Marantz
Lopraycious Loquacious Someone who speaks in tongues Gene Pogany
Femesis Nemesis Ladies who dislike each other Rod Noles
Cynocure Cynosure Sinus medication Rod Noles
Premuse Premise Acting without thinking it through Rod Noles
Braincoat Raincoat A waterproof toupée Doug Langmead
Awaiter Waiter A frustrated diner trying to catch the eye of the maître d’ Doug Langmead
Harangle Harangue An intense argument over the best way to calculate the area in a right triangle Rod Noles
Proposterous Preposterpus Professional liar Rod Noles
Hogemony Hegemony High pork prices Rod Noles
Mapless Hapless Broken GPS Rod Noles
Phlegmish Flemish How you feel when you have a stuffy nose and find that you've also developed a Dutch accent. Bar Lowenberg
Recurement Recrement Medical term: When procedure or operation needs to be repeated Rod Noles
Probbity Probity Medical term: When physican or nurse probes just a tiny bit. Rod Noles
Windsome Winsome Nautical term: When the breeze is sufficient to riase the sail Rod Noles
Taxidramatist Taxidermist A well-stuffed cabaret-driver Doug Langmead
Rump pump Sump pump Enables a same-day colonoscopy Emile Ouellette
Fannuls Annuls Smokestacks on a hovercraft Doug Langmead
Kitany Litany List of reasons of those who believe cats are smarter than dogs. Carole Marantz
Jestrangement Estrangement A silly taunt results in a lifetime alienation between friends/family. Carole Marantz
Obstunate Obstinate State of shock when your mother-in-law agrees with you during a family argument. Rod Noles
Sembalance Semblance Nearly walking straight after four glasses of wine. Rod Noles
Peckless Feckless Phobia of having a vasectomy Rod Noles
Gaberdine Gabardine Gossip over drinks and dinner Rod Noles
Wannabed Wannabe An ambitious suitor Doug Langmead
Interrectum Interregnum A proctologists coffee break Gene Pogany
Grancid Rancid Spoiled rotten grandchild. Carole Marantz
Meagre Eagre A trivial tidal flood. Carole Marantz
Spodiatrist Podiatrist Nerdy unsocial with foot fetish. Carole Marantz
Pronounse Pronounce (V) To articulate without mentioning the article Doug Langmead
Dipthong Diphthong A double vowel sound uttered on entering the ocean wearing a string bikini. Bar Lowenberg
Uslurp Usurp Nasty messy way to enjoy soup. Carole Marantz
Loxicon Lexicon Special word for smoked salmon. Carole Marantz
Finlesse Finesse Eelongated Doug Langmead
Borealy Boreal Bo Diddley’s given name. Rod Noles
Fulmenate Fulminate Term used to describe group of fishing buddies folowing an all you can eat Catfish dinner for $21.95 Rod Noles
Bastropod Gastropod Fatherless Mollusc Rod Noles
Coirgi Corgi / Stray A straw dog Doug Langmead
Prefacture Prefecture Government offical who has all of the answers to tax code Rod Noles
Extirpute Extirpate Term used on French golf course when your putt is short Rod Noles
Catarack Cataract Multi level canvas hammocks in seafaring vessels for cats. Feline crew is responsible for catching mice. Rod Noles
Applepsy Epilepsy An orchard disorder Emile Ouellette
Impedimen Impediment The uncanny ability of retired men to be in their wives’ way. Randee M Ketsel
Expectaunt Expectant The feeling you get when you see the bully coming your way. Heidi Hansen
Dambulatory Ambulatory A British conservative cursing the Brexit decision and trying to walk away from it Edgar Garin
Mancaroni Macaroni Slang: n. the offending male appendage, characteristically afflicted with Peyronie's disease Patrick O'Hara
Grancid Rancid Offensive "Helicopter" grandparents' syndrome. Carole Marantz
Electrick Electric A shocking sleight of hand to claim voter fraud Connie Simon
Dkoi Koi Obviously a load of carp, but alluring nevertheless Doug Langmead
Madverse Adverse Manic and angry poetry. Carole Marantz
Fadjure Adjure Adamantly command that all adopt the latest popular rage. Carole Marantz
Madverse Adverse Manic and angry poetry Carole Marantz
Dkoi Koi Obviously a load of carp, but alluring nevertheless Doug Langmead
Spumonte Spumante/Spumoni Multi-coloured Italian sparkling wine, best served frozen Doug Langmead
Dragonian Draconian Description of very severe laws governing prehistoric times Gene Pogany
Eurekan Eureka One who utterly reeks of triumph. Carole Marantz
Webulous Nebulous Occasional indistinct and vague "Web" response. Carole Marantz
Shippophobia Hippophobia Fearful of cruise ships Carole Marantz
Edulweiss Edelweiss Boring Rabbi Rod Noles
Pawn Chorus Dawn Chorus Sunrise song one sings prior to redeeming an item from the pawnshop Rod Noles
Wardent Ardent Impact on defense budget when troops are deloyed for conflict Rod Noles
Lative Native Laxative with dealyed delivery feature Rod Noles
Prefacture Prefecture The truth as shared by powerful elected officials. Rod Noles
Becamel Bechamel A camel who is trained by a French chef Rod Noles
Acrapolis Acropolis Porta-Potties at ancient Greek construction sites. Rod Noles
Hellotropic Heliotropic First thing you say upon arrival in Cancun Rod Noles
Simulecrum Simulacrum Identical looking donkeys Rod Noles
Wiligree Filigree Oscar Mayer Wieners as Christmas Tree decorations Rod Noles
Wetter Fetter How your shorts feel when they put on handcuffs Rod Noles
Heracious Veracious The honesty and truthfulness of women most of the time!! Carole Marantz
Paragone Paragon A being of grace, intellect and empathy who has passed away. Carole Marantz
Swheaten Wheaten A sugar loaf Doug Langmead
Mhorose Morose A dejected stallion Doug Langmead
Scoffee Coffee A beverage when drunk in the staff canteen causes you to speak in a scornfully derisive or mocking way about work colleagues. Philip Cooke
Emoo Moo A flightless cow Doug Langmead
Bemeanor Demeanor One not nice to others. Carole Marantz
Refundant Redundant Gals, you are entitled to money back from Anti-Wrinkles lotions that never work!! Carole Marantz
Nerdant Verdant Immature, naive scholar. Carole Marantz
Lip-stync Lip-sync An exceptionally poor performance of trying to match live facial expression to a recorded song. (Best examples can be seen in every Macy's Day Parade) Bill Lansley
Penticide Pesticide A spray that, when used correctly, will get you out of prison. Emile Ouellette
Eleglance Elegance When a classy woman looks your way Rod Noles
Departee Repartee When your friends invite you to leave the party Rod Noles
Pubstitution Substitution When your date leaves the bar with someone else Rod Noles
Antioxirant Antioxidant Intense vocal explanations repeatedly, regarding benefits of certain foods products and behaviors. Carole Marantz
Zendorphins Endorphins Increase in state of well being through Zen Meditation. Carole Marantz
Bowtow Kowtow Grovelling while standing upright and not doing a curtsey. Carole Marantz
Hovels Shovels Straight-handled, broad-bladed, canted Pades Doug Langmead
Eloquaint Eloquent One who verily articulates with fluency Gene Pogany
Hepleted Depleted Friend who suddenly starts wearing pleated pants Rod Noles
Brocrastination Procrastination Putting off calling your little brother Rod Noles
Dubfreezing Subfreezing adjective
when tomorrow is going to be just as cold as todayTimmothy Copeland
Whorrify Horrify Dedemurity Doug Langmead
Callipigian Callipygian Pig’s shapely buttocks. Inspiration for Paul Simon lyrics in You Are The One “big and fat pigs supposed to look like that" Rod Noles
Cinemux Cinemax Sticky substance on the floor at the movie Rod Noles
Glumlord Slumlord Very unhappy landlord Rod Noles
Mopposite Opposite Karate Kid technique for mopping floors. Every other movement in opposite direction. “Mop on mop off” Rod Noles
Repollant Repellant Insecticide which kills love bugs on voting day Rod Noles
Tenevolent Benevolent One who scores a 10 in kindness, goodness and generosity. Carole Marantz
Zenterprise Enterprise Endeavor with principles of peace, good will and enlightenment. Carole Marantz
Witinerant Itinerant East coast circuit for traveling comedians Rod Noles
Faustic Caustic A small mold mistaken for a tick Rod Noles
Henchant Penchant Noise the chickens make when there’s a rosterin the yard. Rod Noles
Wetish Fetish Crude test to determine if your neighbor's lawn sprinkler works better than yours Rod Noles
Abnoxious Obnoxious Wearing a bare midriff outfit to the gym James Mooney
Ironery Ironer Creaseless ascerbity Doug Langmead
Dramaturdy Dramaturgy Theatrical ebullience following good bowel movement Rod Noles
Wedonism Hedonism The doctrine that marriage is likely to porvide pleasure Rod Noles
Washram Ashram Place where sheep bathe Rod Noles
Perpunctory Perfunctory When WPMI contributors offer "gems&" out of habit/duty. Carole Marantz
Balternate Alternate To dance without grace nor skill now and then. Carole Marantz
Croquetry Coquetry Flirting with mallets aforethought Doug Langmead
Aphare Phare A dalliance with a flasher Doug Langmead
Dogwager Dowager Ladies-only betting window at the dog races Rod Noles
Ferriere Derriere Clever way to tell someone to haul their ass in a wagon Rod Noles
Bemure Bemire Heighten shyness when covered with mud Rod Noles
Abnegution Abnegation Looking at your belly for motivation to give up donuts Rod Noles
Plandishment Blandishment Scheduled time to flatter somene you dislike Rod Noles
Cantumacious Contumacious Positive self reafirmination that you can be obstinate Rod Noles
Kiposh Kibosh Making the wrong fashion statement Rod Noles
Mauthentic Authentic Sobriquet for mother of an adopted child Rod Noles
Mequisition Requisition Mental instability of believing everyone counts on you personally to plug the gap in supply chain disruption. Rod Noles
Disconsquirting Disconcerting What it's like when you can't make it to the bathroom in time Gene Pogany
Disquietune Disquietude A song played by a heavy metal band Gene Pogany
Bunette Lunette Sandwich in the shape of a half moon Rod Noles
Banxiety Anxiety Those who are ANTI everything different!! Carole Marantz
Scrackish Brackish Instead of "3 leaves let it be", you attack the poison ivy. Carole Marantz
Homepuns Homespun Dad Jokes Doug Langmead
Fortifucation Fortification Prepartions for safe sex Rod Noles
Yarnstormer Barnstormer A stunt pilot who travels around the country dropping skeins of wool from his plane Rod Noles
Barrears Arrears When your tab at the local pub is past due Rod Noles
Sincrease Increase You increase doing something you know is wrong because it feels so good Rod Noles
Arrowpoot Arrowroot Involuntary flatulence immediately upon being shot with an arrow Rod Noles
Warbitrary Arbitrary Declare war on a country because they have three R's in their name. Rod Noles
Gerrybander Gerrymander Congressional district with boundary lines that excludes certain loud bands Rod Noles
Yarnstormer Barnstormer A stunt pilot who travels around the country dropping yarn from his plane Rod Noles
Randerpest Rinderpest A viragol cattleist Doug Langmead
Cowcophony Cacophony Raucous moosic herd in fields Christine Clark
Fineffable Ineffable Unbelievable shark sightings at local Atlantic Ocean beaches. Carole Marantz
Skibosh Kibosh Winter accident ended one's favorite sport. Carole Marantz
Pardonic Sardonic A regretful person constanty requesting forgiveness. Carole Marantz
Candroid Android The Tin Man Doug Langmead
Slitigate Litigate Break through a fence and get legally charged. Carole Marantz
Trucugent Truculent Fierce belligerent guy! Carole Marantz
Napropos Apropos With important reference to a daily senior snooze. Carole Marantz
Cattiwampus Cattywampus The opposite of Doggiwampus Wayne Price
Swordiness Wordiness Excessive talking during a sword fight Rod Noles
Damazon Amazon When overnight package is two days late Rod Noles
Ignoranus Ignoramus What you do to someone who's being an ass. Gene Pogany
Infamouse Infamous A notorious rodent William Tunn
Experiminting Experimenting How the US treasury made its first coins Emile Ouellette
Comodian Comedian A comic who specializes in bathroom humor Bill Magerman
Hagitat Habitat Special location for vicious old women. Carole Marantz
Gemoji Emoji Jewelry featuring unique icons. Carole Marantz
Sporadice Sporadic Occasional gambling Carole Marantz
Quotad Quota Rather insignificant fixed shared amount. Carole Marantz
Vegenation Vegetation Switch to eating more veggies, fruits, grains and nuts Carole Marantz
Profssional Professional Amateur (from a "Help Wanted" sign. "Apply With "E") Doug Langmead
Grubernatorial Gubernatorial Immoral and often illegal behaviour by a well - placed and highly recommended Government official. Ruth Krause
Non compos mentos Non compos mentis Mintally incompetent Bar Lowenberg
Teal Ceremony Tea Ceremony A formal ceremony where everyone wears blue-green Wayne Price
Sirosis Cirrhosis Malady of a gentleman drinker Gene Pogany
Anonymouse Anonymous An unidentified cheese poacher Gene Pogany
Prostratitis Prostatitis Condition resulting from having too much to drink Gene Pogany
Consequenchal Consequential Finding water in the desert. Gene Pogany
Syncopatient Syncopation The ability to not get frustrated while you try to reset the clocks on the oven and the microwave so they show the same time. Steve Cozzetto
Copascetic Copacetic To live a lifestyle like a police officer stuck on a long stakeout, e.g., cold coffee, fast food, sleep in car Steve Cozzetto
Broviate Bloviate Male sibling commenting on matters with no prior knowledge or information Carole Marantz
Tranquilt Tranquil Bedcover stitched in patterns that provides peace and comfort to owners. Carole Marantz
Stagacious Sagacious Gal who only selects wise and discerning males for diverse roles. Carole Marantz
Meditation Medication Cheaper than pills Emile Ouellette
Triscuitdekaphobia triskaidekaphobia An abnormal fear of 13 snack crackers. Andrew N. Keller
Oinkment Ointment The key ingredient required to grease a pig Wayne Price
Wabitat Habitat What Elmer Fudd calls a rabbit habitat. Wayne Price
Hubrise Hubris Rise of Egomania -21st Century-Intense addiction to Social Media, Electronic devices, 24/7. Carole Marantz
Wintome Winsome Enchanting scholarly volume. Carole Marantz
Duoglogue Duologue Talking to myself in a theatrical setting Doug Langmead
Laxidermist Taxidermist A taxidermist who substitutes stuffed animals for deceased ones, thereby skinning his clients Carole Marantz & Doug Langmead
Climaze Climate Intricate and existential goal to address climate change and earth's survival. Carole Marantz
Hisnomer Misnomer Male problem with inaccurate name or designation. Carole Marantz
Abucuster Abacus A General calculator that always underestimates the Indians Doug Langmead
Audist Nudist A nudist who can be heard, but not seen Doug Langmead
Spunctual Punctual Intense "fire brand" always on time. Carole Marantz
Jollify Mollify To temper down by being somewhat silly and foolish. Carole Marantz
Shangri-lam Shangri-la The ideal getaway spot Carole Marantz
Gunderwear Underwear Jockey shorts that have a holster built into the back Wayne Price
Painties Panties Overalls Doug Langmead
Crap circles Crop circles What happens when aliens get diarrhoea. Timmohy Copeland
OBtion Option Surgical choice for an Out of Body experience while under Emile Ouellette
Punchant Penchant Strong affinity for creating puns for WPMI. Carole Marantz
Tuxtapose Juxtapose Attempt to create unique formal ensemble with contrasting parts. Carole Marantz
Rantalize Tantalize Tirade to torment one with unobtainable results. Carole Marantz
Confidunce Confidence Overly self assured actually incompetent idiot. Carole Marantz
Jolyglot Polyglot Joy and delight of being multilingual Carole Marantz
Comparisin Comparison A deliberate logical fallacy in which an equivalence is drawn between two subjects based on intentionally flawed and inherently false reasoning. Allen Hudson
Moorons Morons Very unskilled boat operators Geoff Williams
Diaryworkers Dairyworkers The team that helped Pepys produce his magnum opus Geoff Williams
Dohminions Dominions 1] Apprentice Bakery workers
2] Bank tellersGeoff Williams
Emule Mule A donkey that can stand on its hind legs, act like a big chicken, put on a passable Australian accent and generally make an ass of itself. Doug Langmead
Sobfuscated Obfuscated Blinded by tears Carole Marantz
Withper Wither A shriveled shout Doug Langmead
Blabotomist Phlebotomist A medical pseudo-professional who would cause less bruising while drawing blood, if they’d just shut up and pay attention to what they’re doing Timmothy Copeland
Cooleague Colleague Someone you really enjoy working with Geoff Williams
Blabbling Babbling To reveal what one believes to be a secret, conspiratorial matter while actually spouting incoherent nonsense. Michael Bailey
Broncot Bronco A little bed for bucking in Doug Langmead
Corallary Corollary A dusty big bed for bucking in Doug Langmead
Straycation Staycation A holiday for polygamists. Ruth Krause
Iincestor Ancestor A distant relative with no clear sense of boundaries Timmothy Copeland
Sphinxter Sphincter The real reason you never see the Sphinx from behind Timmothy Copeland
Fart shaming Fat shaming A typo with a humorous climax Timmothy Copeland
Custoners Customers Legal purchaser of recreational marijuana Timmothy Copeland
Epeated Repeated When a task has been done online more than once Timmothy Copeland
Tomorroe Tomorrow The caviar you’ll be having the day after today Timmothy Copeland
Exasturbate Exacerbate To make something worse by playing with it Timmothy Copeland
Ganeisha Ganeesha A seductive Japanese elephant Doug Langmead
Dodecaknese Dodecanese A mythical Greek monster living on a group of islands that has 12 knee joints Geoff Williams
Jamborlees * Jamborees A large group of Belgian track stars.
*Note -there is a family named Borlee in Belgium who are all international track starsGeoff Williams
Transmoggification Transmogrification The obscure belief that one is transformed into a cat after death-that’s why there are so many of the little blighters. Geoff Williams
Leef Enfield Lee Enfield A well armed Viking Geoff Williams
Carbination Carbonation A country hostile to well-armed Vikings and suitably equipped to deal with them. Doug Langmead
Penisula Peninsula An unusually shaped geographical formation (and proof that "no man is an island" - Ed) Geoff Williams
Puncanny Uncanny Words created by WPMI that "may be difficult to understand or surprising" Carole Marantz
Wepithet Epithet Tearful memory of a beloved. Carole Marantz
Cryborg Cyborg Being truly upset by which of the two elements human or mechanical will dominate. Carole Marantz
Cowculator Calculator A bovine mathematician Sarit Hovav
Hairborne Airborne Flying locks on a blustery day Ruth Krause
Pissue Issue An issue that really pisses you off. Laura Gambardella
Moronavirus Coronavirus Virus causing death by idiocy Sarit Hovav
Baturian Saturian Sober species that can live up to 30 years, fly 60 miles per hour, suspend themselves upside down. Carole Marantz
Anusthesia Anesthesia Why you can’t remember your own colonoscopy Steve Cozzetto
Predicamint Predicament A bad situation that, regardless, you manage to come out looking good Steve Cozzetto
Shyn Shin Lower thy Doug Langmead
Hicken Chicken A headless chook Doug Langmead
Pregnosis Prognosis The ability to predict a pregnancy will yield another boy. Steve Cozzetto
Bone Appetit Bon Appetit What skeletons say to each other before eating Emile Ouellette
Extraordiwary Extraordinary Unbelievably extra cautious! Carole Marantz
Tortice Mortice A turtle that has found its niche Doug Langmead
Aguile Guile Deceptively quick Doug Langmead
Promulgape Promulgate Joy proclaimed on viewing photos and videos of you and your date's 1980's high school prom. Carole Marantz
Trustration Frustration Ability to enjoy tranquillity and peace when all you anticipate goes well Carole Marantz
Prima Doner Prima Donna A snack that’s full of itself Rob Vosper
Rabbot Rabbit A clockwork talmudist Doug Langmead
Chagrit Chagrin Intense strength despite utter failure. Carole Marantz
Wimpetus Impetus Weak, incompetent being has zero incentive! Carole Marantz
Compost mentis Compos mentis 1] A perturbation in your moral compass compounded by a fertile imagination
2] A dirty mindDoug Langmead
Oriontation Orientation Looking upward Steve Cozzetto
Idiyet Idiot Waiting for a stupid person to screw up Steve Cozzetto
Dispouse Dispose Verb: to get rid of something you really wish you never got! Wayne Price
Baerial Aerial Standing up when you should be lying down at your funeral and getting a much better reception as a result. Doug Langmead
Trainy Rainy An apprentice who’s still wet behind the ears Doug Langmead
Tetched Touched Related mental anomalies Emile Ouellette
Mulchritude Pulchritude Preserving your good looks with a combination of compost and sawdust Doug Langmead
Prankenstein Frankenstein We all have a Prankenstein in our lives. You know, the kind of person at the office that thinks saran wrap on the toilet bowl is funny. Wayne Price
Litterly Literally When the misuse of a certain word is to such an extent that its true meaning is reduced to trash Steve Cozzetto
Inveightation Invitation A method to solicit customer complaints Steve Cozzetto
Sickophant Sycophant A poacher of pachyderms Steve Cozzetto
Discombombulation Discombobulation Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire? Theresa A. Corkum
Discomboobulation Discombobulation Are they real or fake? Theresa A. Corkum
Henitent Penitent Campsite exclusively for gals. Carole Marantz
Shenanigain Shenanigan Dishonest activity solely for illegal profit. Carole Marantz
Alcohog Alcohol Someone who won’t pass the bottle Mark Holmes
Windignation Indignation Feeling toward a meteorologist who failed to predict a damaging hurricane Mark Holmes
Sinvestment Investment Purchase of an interest in an adult entertainment establishment Mark Holmes
Hentrification Gentrification Displacement of current inhabitants of a neighborhood by new residents who keep chickens in their yards Mark Holmes
Trapdhoor Trapdoor The employees’ entrance to a bordello Mark Holmes
Pragmanic Pragmatic Impractical, illogical and insane decisions Carole Marantz
Pubilous Nubilous Fogginess of adolescence from "raging hormones" Carole Marantz
Gossophobia Glossophobia Fear of people gossiping about you. Carole Marantz
Calculust Calculus Mathematical system to measure intense desire Carole Marantz
Epiphancy Epiphany Incredibly elegant revelations Carole Marantz
Calculustre Calculust A measure of the glow of pubilousity Doug Langmead
Encryptshun Encryption The increasing popularity of cremation instead of burial Steve Cozzetto
Epitaffy Epitaph "mmhere mmlies mmour brrreeloved mrrrrother (hard chewing and swallow) mmmray she mmmmrest mrrin (gulp swallow) peace" (wipe saliva off cheek) Steve Cozzetto
Emmytaph Epitaph "as I lie in heavenly repose Id like to thank my director and producer as well as my legions of fans who stayed with us when this sitcom first piloted
" Steve Cozzetto
Eer Err Fallibility. To eer is human. To give, give, give, give is divine. Doug Langmead
Coachello Coachella A yearly musical event in the desert near Palm Springs that celebrates gelatin deserts. Wayne Price
Thoroughbed Thoroughbred The ultimate in sleeping accommodation Geoff Williams
Angiogrim Angiogram A rather disturbing medical report Geoff Williams
Anziogram Angiogram A secret map of a site for a seaborne landing in Italy during the Second World War Geoff Williams
Cornucopiate Cornucopia A pill mill Steve Cozzetto
Metsosoprano Mezzosoprano The singer of the National Anthem at Citi Field Steve Cozzetto
Mannapause Menopause A biblical famine; albeit a short one Steve Cozzetto
Eggceptional Exceptional Easter lingo, words only used at Easter Carol Philipson
Gaskew Askew Shock of current gas prices that are definitely "out of line" Carole Marantz
Stylust Stylus Intense desires following texting! Carole Marantz
Pygamy Pygmy A swine with two wives Doug Langmead
Emocion Emotion Waves of happiness, tides of despair in a restless sea of dreams. Doug Langmead
Makoy Mako A Charlatartan Shark, not the real McCoy Doug Langmead
Telapathy Telepathy Having the ability to read minds but not caring to Amber Deaton
Scamaraderie Camaraderie The parasocial relationship one has with an Instagram influencer Amber Deaton
Remarx Remark Statements uttered when a communist group comengels. They are spoken without staling, streamlening their ideas for the masses, lest someone arrives at the conclusion that the ideology being trotskyed out could only be believed by a total ze-ding-dong. Amber Deaton
Scourage Courage The fortitude required to scrub the toilet Amber Deaton
Fratuity Gratuity A tip given to another frosh to avoid hazing Amber Deaton
Scatastrophe Catastrophe A total sh*tstorm Amber Deaton
Simpathy Sympathy Pity for guys who white-knight on the internet Amber Deaton
Prepidation Trepidation Being worried about chopping onions for your next recipe Amber Deaton
Limerisk Limerick The chance you have of being taken to HR for repeating that dirty poem that you heard Amber Deaton
Maximom Maximum An overbearing helicopter mother Amber Deaton
Tomfoulery Tomfoolery Tomfoulery: Messing with a chick half your age
Tomfowlery: Messing with a "chick" at allAmber Deaton
Momhawk Mohawk The hairstyle your mother adopts during her midlife crisis Amber Deaton
Aesop’s Foibles Aesop’s Fables Aesop’s inspiration came from drawing on his own character defects to be anthropomorphised and given a moral purpose Doug Langmead
Idoleyes Idolize Katy Perry Steve Cozzetto
Narcady Arcady A rustic paradise in a runcible spoon Doug Langmead
Mourniquet Tourniquet Assistance and materials provided for those experiencing loss. Carole Marantz
Subterfudge Subterfuge Disappointing candy made with faux chocolate (carob). Carole Marantz
Conundrums Conundrum The mystery of why the Grateful Dead needed two percussionists, yet Def Leppard has only one - and he’s missing an arm Steve Cozzetto
Who Dares Whines Who Dares Wins Quis Audet Querit - the motto of bellyachers in the SAS Doug Langmead
Sewp Sew Broth-stitch Doug Langmead
Spottying Spotting The monitoring of community wastewater for the presence of Coronavirus.
That data remains spotty, however, and there is not yet a clear connection between wastewater data and caseloads.Doug Langmead
Majoled Cajoled Mom’s gentle persuasion Carole Marantz
Angiopasty Angioplasty Special cardiological procedure often used on Las Vegas showgirls Geoff Williams
Wherewithale Wherewithal Spicy spirits offered as extra remuneration Carole Marantz
Gutmost Utmost One's ability to achieve great results by way of personal courage and determination Carole Marantz
Miverse Diverse My personal original poetry. Carole Marantz
Aloofah Loofah Self-absorbent Doug Langmead
Harmaceutical Pharmaceutical (HARM a SUIT i cle) noun, adjective: ingested toxic substances that eventually lead to litigation, or having to do with such substances.
Derivatives:
Harmacy (HARM a cee) (n): Where harmaceuticals are sold.
Harmacist (HARM a cist) (n): One who dispenses harmaceuticals.
Big Harma (n): That institution which sponsors career politicians.Mark Graham
Vaxsimile Facsimile A figure of speech using "like" or "as" - for example: the flu shot is easy as pie, or the polio shot is like a life-saver Steve Cozzetto
Non compost mentos Non compos mentis Chewy mint candy does not degrade into useable fertilizer Steve Cozzetto
Northodoxy Orthodoxy Beliefs and philosophy guided solely by Polaris. Carole Marantz
Goutliers Outliers Not true that night shade veggies cause severe inflamations. Carole Marantz
Pinvincible Invincible Incredible setup that literally cannot be hacked nor penetrated. Carole Marantz
Semisster Semester A gap-year in one’s schooling Steve Cozzetto
Miraclues Miracles Reminders of the good things that have happened to you Steve Cozzetto
Aquamon Aquaman Underwater hero from Jamaica Phil W
Wokipedia Wikipedia Left wing website Phil W
Humisphere Hemisphere Only remembering half a song Phil W
Enderstanding Understanding Last words of an argument between two people Phil W
Beheavior Behavior Actions following a fifth of scotch Phil W
Failout Bailout Government handouts to all companies but yours Phil W
Wushes Wishes Dreams that get blown away in a heart beat Phil W
Lambition Ambition Desire to run away Phil W
Publicon Publican IRS agent Phil W
Doxymoron Oxymoron Idiot that gives out your address Phil W
Damazon Amazon When your overnight delivery takes three days Rod Noles
Procraptinate Procrastinate Putting off s*** that you don’t want to do Will Caplinger
Screwage Sewage Lust’s labours flushed Doug Langmead
Breadlocks Dreadlocks Bakery security system Geoff Williams
Cameraderie Camaraderie Group photo Steve Cozzetto
Lubegubrious Lugubrious The sadness of seeing that Walgreens has stopped restocking the suntan oil, so that means Summer is almost over. Steve Cozzetto
Zeneric Generic Tranquil intuitive state of essential being. Carole Marantz
Spuntaneous Spontaneous Incredible brain ability of WPMI contributors to create with ease, clever/amusing words with awesome definitions. Carole Marantz
Complaine Compline A very unsatisfactory church service Geoff Williams
Celibrate Celebrate All of the thrills, none of the action Doug Langmead
Kaplow Kapow A furrowed haymaker Doug Langmead
Complaine Compline A very unsatisfactory church service Geoff Williams
Glamborous Glamourous Looking young and sheepishly chic. Doug Langmead
Cedling Ceding A small concession that will one day sprout into a full retreet. Doug Langmead
Craminal Criminal A Russian prison Geoff Williams
Fulcrumb Fulcrum A new type of robust bread that helps you to maintain your balance Geoff Williams
Apooplectic Apoplectic A fit of rage strong enough to convert incense to incontinence Doug Langmead
Apathletic Apathetic No longer caring about the Olympics Steve Cozzetto
Xeroscaping Xeriscaping The process of landscaping that eliminates the need for irrigation by removing all the plants Melissa Kelley
Quip pro quo Quid pro quo A snappy comeback Melissa Kelley
Sobriquest Sobriquet Frenetic search for iconic unique nickname! Carole Marantz
Tunag Tuna Recurrent melody constantly hummed that stresses you out because the name cannot be recalled. Carole Marantz
Vacartion Vacation "Hit the road, Jack!" Emile Ouellette
Spanic Panic Full extent of stressful concern from beginning to end. Carole Marantz
Mispanic Hispanic Suddenly realising that your flight is bound for Portugal Doug Langmead
Halogram Hologram A visual manifestation of a persons delusions of their own sanctity. Tessa Hogerwaard
Inverstment Investment As a Noun:
Inverstment, (n): The verst investment I ever made.
As a Verb:
Inverst, (v): buying a stock that really sucks.Ron Armstrong
Fibulist Fabulist A person who composes or relates fibs.
A liar, especially a person who invents less elaborate, less dishonest stories than a fabulist, but fibs about mundane topics on a regular basis.
"a born fibulist, with no regard for replacing or exaggerating the truth with "little white lies".Jeff Todd
Aspyre Aspire A burning ambition Doug Langmead
Cadbury Tables Canterbury Tales Chocolate bars with a Chaucer flavours Doug Langmead
Halogram Hologram A visual manifestation of a person’s delusions of their own sanctity. Tessa Hogerwaard
Costermanger Costermonger The cost of a stable in Bethlehem all those many years ago Geoff Williams
Flagonard Fragonard Producing a masterpiece while downing copious drafts of wine Geoff Williams
Firecorks Fireworks The thrill one gets when letting loose the stopper from a bottle of good bubbly Geoff Williams
Spleendied Splendid Causing untold damage to one's internal organs by having a conniption fit Geoff Williams
Multinude Multitude A mass striptease Geoff Williams
Impedimen Impediment The uncanny ability of retired men to be in the precise spot that obstructs their wives' actions. Randee M Ketzel
Ragenda Agenda Compilation of constant aggravating events,exasperating dialogues and inane, imbecilic activities. Carole Marantz
Smilestone Milestone Awesome emotional memory of your baby's first smile. Carole Marantz
Wordles Wordless Like WPMI, but with up to six attempts at one-letter changes and no attempt at definitions. Doug Langmead
Taccination Vaccination A new mandate that applies only to Taxidermists-who must now get full vaccinations before they can stuff an animal. In certain parts of the world Freedom Rallies for Taxidermists have been taking place with many centres of major cities being clogged with giant stuffed Teddy Bears Geoff Williams
Purgeatory Purgatory A game played in certain Western democracies like UK and Canada where right wing members are the quarry Geoff Williams
Golfcoarse Golfcourse An eighteen hole spread with VERY difficult rough Geoff Williams
Octuary Actuary A very clever accountant who is limited in the type of client he can take on as he can only count up to eight Geoff Williams
Rattlefield Battlefield A meadow infested with highly poisonous smakes Geoff Williams
Randicoot Bandicoot A small Australian Marsupial that has been put on a steady diet of Spanish Fly Geoff Williams
Candiboot Bandicoot A small Australian marsupial that has been treated by Dr Spooner Geoff Williams
Anacondo Anaconda A very long very narrow accommodation that sometimes crushes and eats its residents Geoff Williams
Tangolin Pangolin A scaly anteater which inhabits Africa but secretly wants to move to Argentina to learn how to dance Geoff Williams
Carryon Carrion The amount of luggage that a crow can carry on a commercial aircraft Geoff Williams
Wimpledon Wimbledon A very prestigious tennis tournament played at England's hallowed grounds but restricted to nuns only. Geoff Williams
Cateschism Catechism A split in the Christian church involving its most basic precepts Geoff Williams
Endoctrine Endocrine Armageddon Geoff Williams
Decadense Decadence Ten times more stupid than the average human. Highly likely to be a politician. Geoff Williams
Protogeese Protogees The first waterfowls created. William Tunn
Puparazzi Paparazzi Seen hiding in the bushes near the dog park (Celebrity puplicists ? - Ed) William Tunn
Chategorize Categorize One chooses to avoid discussions on certain topics because of other's politics, social views and beliefs. Carole Marantz
Clamboyant Flamboyant An ornate bivalve mollusk floating aimlessly all day without any concerns. Carole Marantz
Predictament Predicament I just knew I`d end up in this unpleasant situation. William Tunn
Dogee Ogee A serpentine canine of uncertain value in a window Doug Langmead
Porkmanteau Portmanteau Pigskin briefcase Geoff Williams
Pelekinesis Telekinesis A marine bird that can bend spoons with its mind. Peter Morris
Circustance Circumstance An attitudinal position taken by P T Barnum. William Tunn
Excellant Excellent The highest achieving termite in the colony. William Tunn
Fadmirer Admirer A dedicated follower of fashion Doug Langmead
Shopgun Wedding Shotgun Wedding A well established tradition in certain Southern US States wherein the bridegrooms father takes him out to the local gun shop to buy a rifle and lots of ammunition Geoff Williams
Decree Nici Decree Nisi Happily divorced Geoff Williams
In Flagrant Deliti In Flagrante Delicto Running around stark naked with a silly grin on your face Geoff Williams
Esquirt Esquire A novice knight Geoff Williams
Truckulent Truculent Road-rage heavyweight Gillian W
Hambunctious Rambunctious Rowdy at Christmas dinner Brian Griffith
Fasterpiece Masterpiece Digitally and more quickly conceived. Carole Marantz
Soilitude Solitude When you are all alone in the hole you dug for yourself, ALSO The feeling you get when you realize that you are the only one who went down that rabbit hole Will Caplinger
Souperman Superman Faster than a speeding pizza delivery guy. More powerful than a jalapeno pepper.
Able to leap Anthony Bourdain in a single bound.Will Caplinger
Ovoidance Avoidance Taking eggs out of your diet. Will Caplinger
Effluencer Influencer A social media poster who spreads or speaks complete rubbish; or spreads untrue or misleading information or commentary. Paul Schmidt
Airish Irish Celtic pilots Doug Langmead
Exposo Expose An exhibitionistic clown. Fran Rametta
Deaddress Headdress For males, a black suit Geoff Williams
Helpmeat Helpmeet Gracy Geoff Williams
Parisites Parasites Residents of the capital of France Geoff Williams
Violince Violence Committing mayhem with a stringed instrument Will Caplinger
Punction Function Ability to create clever/funny words for WPMI. Carole Marantz
Incorect Incorrect Something a little less than Perrfection Douglas Langmead
Failbone Tailbone Osteoporosis results. Carole Marantz
Fondue Fondle A cheesy embrace Doug Langmead
Maximice Maximize Very large rodents. William Tunn
Minimice Minimize Very small rodents. William Tunn
Oymicron Omicron A COVID variant that makes you feel guilty for contracting it. Will Caplinger
Condominimum Condominium One room plus half a bath Emile Ouellette
Entertrain Entertain Climb aboard the locomotive. William Tunn
Locopotion Locomotion This stuff will send you crazy. William Tunn
Ruseum Museum Edifice that houses artifacts, paintings, sculptures that are not authentic Carole Marantz
Madmission Admission Angrily and reluctantly admitting you did something wrong even in the face of your obvious guilt Dian Berger
Recyclink Recycling The sound emanating from the recycle bin when a dropped bottle strikes another bottle. Wayne Price
Megaphoney Megaphone A really really big fake. William Tunn
Partysanship Partisanship Semi-military love-boat Balazs Monoki
Piramisu Tiramisu A quadro-triangular cake Balazs Monoki
Mormonta Mormota A converted squirrel Balazs Monoki
Fadjunct Adjunct A short-lived and popular fashion craze added to your outfit which unmistakably displays that you are up to date and current with new trends Dian Berger
Naxxer Vaxxer A person that is against getting vaccinated despite overwhelming evidence that vaccinations save lives and prevent severe illness. Dian Berger
Rotinda Rotunda A dating site for fat people Doug Langmead
Berefd Bereft Sorry team the game has been cancelled as all the umpires have tested positive for Covid Geoff Williams
Sikhorski Sikorski A helicopter piloted by a resident of India Geoff Williams
Nogbrainer Nobrainer How you felt at Christmas after downing one too many eggnogs Geoff Williams
Gobra Cobra Underwear designed for females who like to run Geoff Williams
Nobra Cobra A serpentine sex-pot Geoff Williams
Cobrat Cobra An ill-behaved young snake Geoff Williams
Mittigate Mitigate A scandal involving a character played by Danny Kaye in a movie Geoff Williams
Faundry Foundry A carwash that has been adapted to allow a little deer to come in out of a heavy rainstorm Geoff Williams
Pprocatstination Procrastination When you put off cleaning the litter box... Lorraine Ray
Wunderdog Underdog An extremely clever dog William Tunn
Dunderdog Underdog Not a very clever canine. William Tunn
Pmail Email How dogs communicate Dale Steel
Lyperbole Hyperbole Exaggerated statements or claims not intended to be taken literally. Ooooops....looks like the definition fits both spellings! Wayne Price
Flockage Blockage Birds, geese, butterflies each assembling by group to journey South. Carole Marantz
Sarchasm Sarcasm A sardonic divide William Tunn
Tangot Tango Forgot to apply SP30 sunscreen Carole Marantz
Hidioms Idioms Joy of finding the meanings hidden in such figurative language. Carole Marantz
Flostered Flustered How you feel when your dentist criticizes your oral hygiene Lorraine Ray
Hilaryous Hilary + hilarious Mrs. Clinton's laugh Lorraine Ray
Sassporilla Sarsparilla A smart-aleck monkey Lorraine Ray
Intercurse Intercourse A sexually transmitted disease Lorraine Ray
Frostrated Frustrated Sick of winter weather! Lorraine Ray
Maccine Vaccine Your Covid booster Lorraine Ray
Abrahem Abraham The first Jewish tailor Lorraine Ray
Dunderdog Underdog Not a very clever canine. WilliamTunn
Humosexual Homosexual A lover of chick-peas Melvyn Taggart
Ampathy Empathy Electric feelings Melvyn Taggart
Svengalli Svengali An evil - minded, manipulative person full of bitterness. Ruth Krause
Rugatta Regatta Flying carpet races Doug Langmead
Carfree Carefree A feeling of delight when not using an automobile. Ruth Krause
Oinkment Ointment A salve for our hogs WilliamTunn
Punday Sunday Isn't every day? Emile Ouellette
It ain't what I meant, it's the mention It ain't the meat it's the motion The pleasure of seeing your word included in WPMI even though its not very clever (with apologies to The Swallows, Maria Muldaur and Southside Johnny) Doug Langmead