For years an email has been circulating about the “Washington Post's Mensa invitational” which includes a very clever list of words made by changing common words.
The most recent email circulation listed the “2009 winners”. Those of you who have received this email probably noticed it was very similar to the “2008 winners”. In fact, they’re also very similar to many of the 1998 winners! (UPDATE: The very same "2010" list is now in circulation – check Google!)
(http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/invitational/invit980802.htm)
So, many, many years ago someone ran a contest and it’s been circulating on the internet ever since.
But hey, it’s a good idea. So we thought we’d collect words here.
Please feel free to send us your words and definitions on the Submit Words page. We’ll post anything that’s clean (meaning your very bright 7 year old can read it without you wincing). Once a year we’ll have a contest to determine the winners (with no scientific validity whatsoever).
If you want to enter the contest, feel free to “register” with your email. The only time we intend to email you is once a year to let you know the contest is running. We’re thinking about January 3rd, Victor Borge’s birthday…
THIS SITE IS NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THE WASHINGTON POST!
You can now click around on the site because we've come up with five (5 – count 'em!) pages, a 150% increase from the original two pages. In addition to this page and the page of words we've added a submission page and the contest page (for when we figure out how to conduct the contest). We've also created a blog page so we can now accept comments.
Feel free to email this list anywhere you want. It’s not ours. We don’t own it. We haven’t copyrighted it. We don’t want to. We just want to have some fun with words.
ORIGINAL EMAIL:
The Washington Post's Mensa invitational once again asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2009 winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like,
a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.
3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade , v.. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of jockey shorts worn by
Jewish men
